(I wrote the first draft of this for a slam poetry night a few years ago, but didn’t have the guts to perform it. But now that douchebags are in vogue, perhaps someone out there might wanna step up to the plate with this new and improved version? Send me a vid’ and I will post without hesitation! 8) )
MANIFESTO
The room spins around my Light
Screwing me in tight
Just another page
In my Douchebag Manifesto
I am ALL that I see…
‘cause I burn so bright.
But don’t confuse the sin with the sinner
Quarter-pound lies, abandonment fries
And a betrayal Cola – super-size – that is my dinner
You see, it all starts HERE…
(point to crotch)
The Big Bang blood-rush – Alpha Male flood, hush…
WITNESS – I am all that I see…and this is all that I am
A one-trick pony: ride me for quarters
A two-faced phony: rushing your borders
A three-pump jabroni: lock up your daughters.
I will rock every nebula
Roll every galaxy
And pound those black holes.
But what else can I be?
You will never know the waste of it…
Crowning a compost heap that smells so pretty
You will never get the taste of it…
Writhing throat-down and stomach-bound in sweat-soaked pity
And you will never see the FACE of it…
‘cause how bad can it be when I’m flexing and sexing and savagely perplexing
Every bitter clit and twitching tail with a grin that eats babies
I will prowl in your streets. I will burn down your City.
It all stays HERE…
The conquering slit slayer. No-remorse poon player.
Stand and be counted in this Census of ONE
A 6-side misogynist: like a gambler, I risk you
A 5-voice ventriloquist: like a dummy, I fist you
A 4-time abortionist: like a death toll, I list you
Stabbing it deep
Choking it dry
Blotting out the Sun.
But what else CAN I be?
You will never live the thrill of it…
Sucking on tender veins until they run dry
You will never feel the chill of it…
Shattering a heart that’s too dumb to ask why
And you can never know the kill of it
‘cause how hard can it be to keep on faking and taking and tender thigh-shaking
Every little girl that gives up her Gift to the sham of sensation
In the hopes that one more Daddy
can teach her how to cry?
It all ends HERE…
The Big-Crunch ring-toss. Omega-Man swing-boss
Kneel and give worship at this Pillar of FIRE
when you believe? I’ll hook you with need.
when I deceive? You’ll weep and you’ll bleed.
And then, as you grieve? That is when I’ll feed.
Splitting every molecule
Smashing every atom
Sodomizing Life.
The room spins around my mind
Screwing me hard from behind
And I write it all down
the Douchebag Manifesto
I am ALL that I see…
‘cause I have gone blind.
And you can gasp ‘oh my God’, and call me a fraud
Or sit on your hands and never applaud
That’s fine, baby.
But don’t confuse the sin with the sinner
You’d get so much more if you’d just spare the Child…
and spoil the rod.